death

 so much has changed, and nothing has changed. 

i still want to die. 

i still feel misunderstood. 

i still feel like a ticking time bomb, a liability. 

i understand more. 

i have taken steps. 

i have been left behind. 

i still want to die. 

what a beautiful prospect. no more pain. no more lack of control. 

i do fifty things right and two things wrong, and that’s all i can see. bad. worthless. alone. 

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